Today, the US Government proudly announces the establishment of the Strategic CZ Reserve—because when the markets wobble and wallets quake, who better to stabilize the crypto chaos than our favorite Binance boss, Changpeng Zhao? By stockpiling CZ and his unparalleled ability to ‘fund SAFU,’ we’re ensuring America stays ahead in the blockchain game. Don’t worry, we’ll keep the reserve decentralized—just like CZ would want... right?

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